Uber Secretaries

Written by debo on July 28th, 2009


Uber Secretaries Sounds really sexy doesn’t it?  Well it’s not!  It’s the name of the Virtual Personal Assistant Business that I want to create.  The idea is to make the image sexy and keep the work real.  A glossy rubber black dressed Vampire Chick with a pad of paper and a very sharp pencil, leaning on the edge of a desk.  “You Need Me!  I’m bringing back Sexy, to the Office.  Want your own Personal Assistant, give me a call.”  I’ll make you look good; I’ll be there when ever you need me.”

There are tons of Administration Assistants and Personal Assistants out in the world barely scrapping by.  My idea is to give them work, health insurance, and a life/work balance by having them work from home.  Just about everyone has a computer set up with a printer and a phone line:  if you have that you have a Business.

Actually what I really wanted to start was an Executive Spanking Business called Uber Secretaries but I thought it would be too messy, legally that is.  Society will pay $500.00 an hour to be spanked but won’t pay $50.00 an hour for expert administrative services.  Well, companies are outsourcing Admin Services to India and they are getting their just desserts. I laugh every day when they come to me bleary eyed, perspiration on their upper lips, trying to solve, yet again, a problem created by their very helpful Indian Admins.  Twelve sodas and six pizzas, not twelve pizzas and six sodas.  Oh, you’re going to take the Office Shuttle?  The Office Shuttle was decommissioned three years ago.  Oh, you have a Taxi for your Departure flight but it’s arriving after you flight has already taken off?  Oh, the PowerPoint that you asked them to format came back as a PDF not a PowerPoint, so you can’t make any changes? Oh, you spent forty-five minutes Instant Messaging with India trying to find a Conference Room?

It goes on and on.  By trying to save money, they are wasting money by using the time of very highly paid Management to take care of their own Administrative chores.  So, instead of saving money, they are spending at least three times what they spent previously, but of course Management can’t see this because it’s invisible.  On paper, they are saving, off paper; they are paying big time with employee frustration and reduced performance, a breakdown in work/home balance and dissatisfaction with the job for the employees.

You know, in Business they say give’em what they want.  I’m thinking Society is more ready for Spanking than Assisting

I’ll keep you posted.

Spank you later,

Debo Ing


1 Comments so far ↓

  1. tvguy says:

    You have a way with words, but remember by and large, english is a tool for concealing the truth

    Sent from my iPhone 4G